Before you read this, I would just like to say that every pregnancy and every delivery is different. This is OUR story, and will no doubt differ from every other birth story out there. Please understand that I worked very hard to make the past 9 months a positive experience for Dave, Ryan and I. I was fortunate enough to have an easy pregnancy, labor, and delivery, and very lucky to have a wonderful, patient, and loving husband to help me through it all. I also had my family here for me as a great support system, as well as an incredible doctor who helped to speed my labor along. I know that it won't be as easy for everyone as it was for me, and I in NO WAY intend for this to put anyone down or offend anyone who may have had a rougher time than I did.
Mom came over to take me to PT, just in case anything happened. By the time I got to PT, I had warmed up to the idea that these were indeed contractions, because they were getting more and more regular. I had one of the therapists time me with a stop watch while I did my therapy, and sure enough, by the time my appointment was over, they were 5 minutes apart. So basically, I was doing my physical therapy workout in LABOR!! Haha, now THAT is dedication!
As mom and I headed home, I called the doctor to let her know that I was contracting every 5 minutes and she said that she would call Labor and Delivery at the Hospital and tell them I was on my way! I asked if I should call Dave and have him come home from work, and she said that I wouldn't be leaving the hospital without a baby, so daddy would definitely want to come. I was stunned!!! I figured I would go to the hospital, they would check me out, and just send me home because I wasn't far enough along yet.
I called Dave and told him it was time and he just dropped everything and said "okay! I'm on my way!" Mom and I swung by the house to pick up the hospital bags and shift into my car (where the car seat is). Nana B came over to get the dogs and they were insane! They could sense what was happening!!
Mom drove me in my car to the hospital. We stopped at McDonald's on the way so I could load up on some food before having to endure who-knows-how-many hours of labor. (They will not let you eat anything once you are admitted until you have the baby). I forced myself to eat most of a 20 piece chicken nugget and a pack of sliced apples...semi-healthy and bland so as to not get acid reflux during labor! Mom timed my contractions on the way - each time I would have one, I would just kind of close my eyes and take deep breaths - by the time we got to the hospital, they were about 4 minutes apart.
We arrived at the hospital right at noon, and Dave was already there. He had been pacing back and forth in the lobby, waiting patiently, but bursting with excitement! We got registered and they wheeled me back to my room!
The nurse had a cup out for me to give a urine specimen, so I headed to the restroom to fill it. I thought that I was going crazy when liquid went all over the place while I was trying to fill the cup...I have been peeing in much smaller cups for the past 9 months at my OB/GYN and never spilled a drop...I would later realize that this was actually when my water broke, but we will come back to that later!
The nurse came in to give me a gown to put on, and saw that I hadn't sterilized myself before filling my cup, so I had to do another one. This time, everything went where it was supposed to go and I dumped the previous cup down the toilet.
By 12:30, I was sitting in my hospital bed in my super sexy XXL, "one-size-fits-some" gown, in awe that today was the day!! The nurse came in to check me and said that I was 4 cm dilated. She hooked my belly up to a heart monitor for the baby, and another monitor for my contractions. They came and took 6 vials of blood from me, got me hooked up to an IV, and gave me 2 big bags of antibiotics and some Pitocin to speed things along. Around 2:30, I was just thinking that we were going to be waiting quite a while, when my doctor walked in! Usually, the doctor doesn't come until the very end, so I asked her why she was so early. She checked me and said that I was 5 cm and asked if I wanted my water broken before or after the epidural...she said that she could do it before so that I could experience "real labor" if I wanted, and I told her to do it AFTER!! Then she asked when I wanted my epidural...WHAT???!!! I can have it ALREADY???!!! She told me that once I order the epidural, it can still take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour or more to get it, since you have to have 30 minutes of some kind of IV drip before it goes in, the anestiologist has to come up, prep everything, and put it in, and then it can take 15 minutes or more to kick in. I didn't feel like my contractions were bad enough yet, so I told her to wait until 3:15 to see how I felt. At 3:15, she convinced me to go ahead and order it and around 4:00, the anestiologist came in with a big blue cart that I refused to let myself look at. It took him a little while to get set up, and just his presence made me nervous!
right after they got me all set up in my hospital bed
The whole day, I had kind of zonked myself out...I was trying to just keep very calm and relaxed, taking each minute as it came and not allowing myself to fret over what painful and/or scary situation may come next. I kept to myself, mostly, and was very quiet and spaced out most of the time. Every time someone came in to stick me with something, I would have Dave hold my hand and just sit with me. He makes me feel more relaxed and comfortable.
The nurses started kicking everyone out of the room because only one person can stay with me while I get the epidural. On the way out, Mike said "my agenda says 6:00 pm...have this baby by then, okay?"
Just before my epidural...ouch!
When the anestiologist told me to sit on the side of the bed, I started to really clam up. I got extremely nervous, hot and sweaty. I told Dave to squeeze my hand as hard as he could and not stop, and I buried my face in his chest. The anestiologist gave me a shot in my back to numb the area, which actually was not bad! Just a little pin prick. Next he threaded the epidural down my back which felt really gross. He told me that I would feel a pain shoot down my leg and *~ZAP!!!~* ...it felt like someone cut off my leg and slapped me in the back of the head!! It was BY FAR the most intense, worst pain of the day. He put a test dose into the catheter and my legs started to tingle. He taped it down, and I was done!! Whew! That was way easier than I ever imagined! Later, I admitted to Dave that I was so nervous that I almost passed out at one point, but somehow managed to keep it together. Oh, and by the way, I had 2 serious contractions while he was running this thread into my spine...so that was comfy!!
Just as he was finishing up, the doctor came back in. She went to break my water, only to find that there was no water to be broken...remember the urine specimen incident I was telling you about before? About this time it starts to dawn on me that the liquid that went all over the place had to have been my water breaking since it obviously didn't break at any other time, and there was no water left to be broken...I was a little bummed - I wanted to know what it was like.
After the unsuccessful breaking of the water, my doctor checked me again and I heard her say "Okay, we are ready!" I was in total shock! You've GOT to be kidding me, right?!? I had only been at the hospital for 5 hours!! And besides that, I wasn't completely numb yet! The nurse stepped out to go get my mom so that we could start pushing. When she came in, the doctor explained to mom and Dave how to hold my legs and feet, since I was getting pretty numb down there and couldn't move for myself. Then she explained to me how to push.
Once my epidural kicked in, I couldn't feel the contractions in my low abdomen anymore. I only felt them on the left side of my very low back. It kind of felt like a deep charley horse. But when I would push, I felt no pain at all...no contraction, no (ahem) ripping, tearing, or cutting. I could feel that things were happening down there, I could feel movement and dull pressure, but that was it. It was nothing like what I expected. This was a breeze!
When each contraction would come, I would tell everyone it was coming. Mom and Dave would pull back my legs as I pulled myself up and Dave lifted me from under my pillows. I would tuck my chin down and push as hard as I possibly could. My doctor would count to 10...lingering for 5 or 6 seconds on the 9 (she called it her "shady counting"). When she would get to 10, Dave would lay me back, I would take a deep breath, and we would do it all over again. We did this 3 times for each contraction. Within just a few contractions, the doctor could see the top of her head.
The doctor and all of the nurses were telling me that I was an awesome pusher, and that "everybody should push like this!" I was kind of flattered, and amazed, because this was literally my "first rodeo" and I had NO idea what I was really doing! I just tried to focus on getting Ryan here as quickly as I possibly could so she could have the least amount of birth trauma possible.
Delivery really wasn't that hard for me. I have worked very hard over the last 9 months to eat well for the baby, as well as stay in shape. I worked out twice a week at physical therapy and twice a week at the gym, to make for a smooth delivery. Contractions were getting a little hard to take just before I got the epidural, but Dave helped me breath through them and he was an EXCELLENT coach. At one point, I noticed him wiping my head with a cold, damp cloth, and I never even asked him to! Pushing wasn't hard, it was just tiring. I only had to push for 45 minutes, and towards the end it was just getting hard to hold my pushing for the full 10 count. I found myself having to breath in mid-count and kind of start over, which may have been a good thing, because I think it made me push harder on the tail end of the push.
I thought that I would be really bashful about everyone looking and poking around down there, but let me tell you...NOTHING makes you less bashful than giving birth! I did not give one flip about who saw what was going on down there! I didn't have time to really even care about it, I was so focused and zoned in on what I was doing. Dave thought that he wouldn't be able to look as she was coming out, because it would gross him out, but the doctor called him down to see, and he looked, and he said that there was nothing gross about it at all...everything is SO different from what you think it will be when it is actually happening!!
The doctor told me that a few more good pushes and the baby would be here...she held her pinky finger up and pointed at her top knuckle with her thumb and say "you are THIS close to meeting Ryan!" We all looked at the clock...it was 5:45. We were all saying "go, go, go! We can't let Mike be right about the time!!"
A few minutes later, the doctor stood up and told me that on the next contraction, she was going to tell me when to push and when to stop. When she said stop, I would have an overwhelming urge to push, but that I shouldn't. (oh great!) My doctor is usually really goofy and funny, but she got really serious with me all of a sudden, and I knew that this was it! I had the nurse read the monitor to tell me when the contraction was starting, and when it did, we pushed one last push (the doctor never had to tell me to stop). She said "look here, look here!" I looked down to see her holding up this tiny little girl, completely purple with white goo all over her, made up of mostly arms and legs. She was silent at first, and the whole world stopped in that instant as I waited, breathless, to hear her cry. She started to cry this tiny little cry (she is a pretty quiet baby) and the world started moving again - at the fastest pace you can imagine! I burst into tears and Dave hugged me and held me as I cried. "She's here! She's here!", we sobbed. When he pulled away, I saw a few tears on his cheek...it was so very sweet! It was only the 2nd time I've seen Dave cry (the other was when my family dog, Opie, passed away). They took the baby to the warmer to get her cleaned up and I told Dave to go with her. I was staring at her from my bed, watching them clean her up as she cried. I was so preoccupied that I didn't even notice that mom was still standing with me...I said "you don't have to stay here! Go!!" She was over to the baby in no time! Everyone was so excited to see her.
I wanted to share this picture with you all...I look dreadful in it, but it was taken just moments after hearing Ryan's first cry. You can see my mom's hands on me, and the emotion in this picture is just endless.
Ryan Ella Sullivan came into this world at 6:02 pm on August 27th, 2010, a Friday. She weighed 7 lbs, 4.4 oz and was 19.5 inches long. Her APGAR score was 8-9. She had lots of dark brown hair, gorgeous big blue eyes, and a mommy and daddy that instantly loved her beyond measure.
Daddy's hand and daddy's girl
Everyone has told me that you don't even notice the doctor patching you up and all of the stuff that has to happen with you AFTER the baby is out, but they were all incorrect because I definitely noticed! I had to do one last push to get the baby's "first home" out, and I told the doctor that I didn't need to see any part of that! Then she stitched me up, which didn't hurt, it just felt really weird. Kind of like when you get a tooth drilled at the dentist...you are numb, so you can't feel it, but you are constantly on edge that at any moment they will drill too far and you will feel it! It seemed like it took an eternity for her to finish, but once she did, they brought the baby over to me and I got to hold her and look into her eyes for the first time.
I held her for a few moments, and it was so surreal. All this time I have been waiting for this moment, and it is finally here. She was such a good baby, from the very first minutes. She didn't cry as I held her, just stared at me with these big gooey eyes. As much as I wanted to hold her forever, I couldn't wait to let Dave hold her. I have held her in my belly for 9 months, and I was so excited for him to be a daddy. I handed her to him and it was love at first sight! I honestly don't remember a lot about our first few moments with her. Everything was just moving so fast. I wish I could remember the exact words that were said, or exactly what we did, but it is all a blur.
Our family
Daddy
Mommy
The happiest guy in the whole world!
The hospital has a button for the dads to push when the baby is born and it plays a lullaby throughout the entire hospital to let everyone know that there has been a new arrival. Dave got to go out in the hall and push it. Very cute!
I was so excited to show her off to the world. I asked the nurse when people could come in, and she said "Anytime!" So Dave walked out to the waiting room to get Mike and Barbara. "It's a girl!", he said. Barbara asked if everything went okay, and they said that they heard the lullaby playing, but didn't know what it was for.
They came back, and mom was holding her. She passed her off to Mike, who is a very proud Papa...he kind of hoarded her for a while, and we had to finally tell him to let Barbara hold her!
Nana loves baby Ryan!!
Proud Papa!
After everything was over, I sat in my bed and just could not stop telling everyone how shocked I was at how EASY it was. Giving birth was the polar opposite of what I expected it to be. On TV and in the movies, the mother always screams and grunts and cries. Most of the stories I have heard are about mothers being in labor for hours on end, only to have to push for hours and hours. My experience was nothing like that. I never screamed. I never felt any overwhelming pain (thank you Mr. Epidural!!), I never felt out of control of my situation.
I was also amazed at how much I controlled the whole process. I had expected to have a nurse reading my contraction chart and telling the doctor when to have me push, at which time the doctor would demand that I push and tell me when to stop, when to go, when to stop, when to go. It was nothing like that. As soon as I felt a contraction coming on, I would tell THEM when I was ready to push. You can tell when a contraction is about to start because the baby moves a lot. Sometimes she would ball up, and other times she would flail around and kick me all over. I would say that it was coming, to get ready, aaaaaand.....okay, it's here, I'm going to push now! There was even one time when the doctor stepped away for a second to get something, and I started needing to push. I asked if I could go on without her, and she said "SURE!" So Dave counted for me and we went about our business by ourselves!
I don't know how or why I was able to stay so calm. Like I said before, I kind of zonked myself out and took every minute as it came, and thought only about that minute, not what may or may not happen next. I am amazed that someone like me with ZERO pain tolerance could have such a wonderful experience.
The hospital and the staff were BEYOND great. I had the absolute BEST doctor and the absolute BEST delivery nurse that I can possibly imagine. Ryan was born right at shift change, and the next nurse to come in was amazing too. She was especially great at showing me how to care for myself. I couldn't walk for several hours because my left leg was still numb, and she just took really good care of me.
So that is our story. I would do it all over in an instant for my sweet little baby girl. She is the cutest thing that you have ever seen, and she can not wait to meet you all!!
~the Sullivans
